Saying “yes” to more of yourself
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you would be able to fully embrace your true self?
There is only one of you in the world. No one else is like you, even if you are an identical twin.
I believe if there is one aspect of life that deserves our full attention, it is understanding the potency that lies within the wisdom that is in each of us. In the KNOWING of ourselves. The sense of aliveness that arises from being deeply connected to ourselves is priceless and a foundation for living a fulfilling life.
Why is it so crucial to know yourself?
From the moment we are born, nearly every aspect of what defines us is learned and ingrained through our interactions with the world around us. Our environment plays a pivotal role in shaping our identities, beliefs, and behaviors. It becomes our self-image, our identity, how we know ourselves.
We all have our own unique way of moving, thinking, feeling which is determined by what we have learned from those around us, their beliefs and expectations. Perhaps, this does not immediately seem as anything of concern. After all, it is how humans have evolved. Passing down wisdom from one generation to the next.
And yet, we all see the world through our own perceptions. We all have our own unique “maps” that we have created of the world we “see” and experience. And sadly, the differences in these maps is what causes pain for us.
For example, when we tell boys from an early age that “boys don’t cry”, or when as children we hurt ourselves and we are being soothed by “you’re ok, it doesn’t hurt so much” or “it’s just a small scratch”, “there’s no need to cry” we are subtly asked to learn to suppress our feelings and any natural responses we have to this event.
Over time, this creates an accumulation of tension in our bodies that will eventually need to find an outlet to express itself in one form or another. This could be lashing out, aggression, numbing one’s feelings, being disconnected from one’s experiences, chronic pain, overall lack of satisfaction with life, constant need to stay busy etc.
It’s not uncommon in our daily lives to move through routines without questioning our actions or considering whether they truly align with our desires, values or feelings. Frequently, we act based on perceived expectations or societal norms, striving to fit into molds shaped by our upbringing, culture, and surroundings.
It’s important to note that all of this takes place at a subconscious level. It is like a computer software that runs in the background without us even knowing.
Until, there comes a day when this disconnection between what we experience externally and what we experience internally shows up as inexplicable irritation or dissatisfaction that we no longer want to have as part of our lives. We begin to long for wholeness that no external factor is able to provide us.
When this incongruency suddenly arises in our awareness and we begin to expose ourselves to self-inquiry and self-reflection we can have the chance to uncover the root causes of our unhappiness or pain. It’s only then we come to realize that our actions may not be in harmony with our authentic selves.
As you begin to get curious about listening with your whole self to what your patterns are, how one thing is connected to another, you will be able to start making subtle shifts. Knowing that when you change one thing, it will inevitably change something else that it is connected to. Everything within us is interconnected.
Embracing movement and change.
Moving, thinking, sensing and feeling are part of everything we do.
Thinking patterns we have, also show how up in our bodily tension and in our movement patterns.
I don’t think it’s enough for you to read and ponder about this statement. I really want you to be able to experience the meaning of it for yourself.
Short Sensory Exploration
Pause whatever you are doing and just sit for a moment. Just as you are. First, notice your current emotional state. Perhaps you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed about the list of things to do, maybe you are bored, worried or sad. Or maybe you feel excited or joyful. Whatever it is, just take a note of it without any judgement. You simply want to notice what is.
Once you’ve been able to identify your state of being, begin to bring your attention to noticing how you’re sitting. What part of the chair are you sitting on - front edge, middle or back of the chair.
Is your back leaning against the back of the chair, if there is one.
Notice the curvature of your back, of your spine. All the way from your tailbone to the top of your head. Do you sense as if you're slumped or arched? Notice how your two shoulder blades are organized over your rib basket. Are they folded forward or are they pulling you down along the back of you? Is there a sense of heaviness that weighs you down? Or maybe, your shoulder blades feel as if they’re floating? As you have wings that gently spread out with each outbreath?
Now, think of your emotional state again and shift it to something that is completely opposite WITHOUT changing the organization of your body. For example, if you were feeling a negative emotion, your organization is somewhat slumped, try to bring yourself to feeling happy and content WHILE your organization is folded, caved in. Or, if you were feeling joys before, try to feel angry or distressed in this organization. I think it’s fairly safe to say that many of you felt that it’s very difficult to change your state of mind while keeping your organization. That even if you were trying to bring on perhaps an inner smile, it felt fake.
Now, change something ever so slightly. Perhaps you straighten your spine by just one vertebrae. Or, maybe you have your eyes looking in the opposite direction. Or you slightly tilt your head differently. Or you try to breathe from a different part of you. And notice how that subtle shift has started to slightly affect your emotional state.
Now make another subtle shift. Maybe you unfold yourself by another vertebrae or maybe you start to look in a different place with your eyes.
Notice, does doing any of these small changes begin to give you more breath? A sigh? Does having more of your breath contribute to how you feel?
Does this small shift in your physical self affect the possibilities you see right now? Is an inner smile further away from you now or more accessible?
I hope you are able to see now (with ALL your senses), that our physical organization directly affects our emotions, our feelings, our thoughts. If we want to live a life that is truly wholesome, coming to know your patterns, how you do something can offer us the means of making a change from the inside out.
Attending to yourself in movement is a beautiful indirect way of addressing other areas of your life.
Once you begin to have a conversation with yourself in movement and learn to move in ways that FEELS good to you, move in a way that’s easeful, where you have your breath, where you feel joy - it WILL transcend into other areas of your life without you even noticing at first.
If you take the time to reflect after the lessons, you’ll often come up with new ideas, new possibilities. Challenges will simply become stepping stones toward growth. If I can feel better, move better, after I’ve allowed myself to be guided by following internal ease, lightness, pleasure, what else could emerge for me in life if I adopt the same principles in my everyday activities?
When you are able start attuning into your experience of your SELF as you go through life, you can begin to anchor yourself in the KNOWING that YOU’VE got yourself.
I wish I could tell you that once you start on this path of listening to yourself that all of your problems will magically disappear. But that simply wouldn’t be true.
Healing takes time and patience. Coming to know yourself takes time and patience. But each time you practice being with yourself, knowing yourself, you are creating pathways for a different version of yourself.
Events will keep taking place as they always have. Life will continue to be in constant move. Movement is life. But what will happen is that you will start to become an active participant in your life rather than constantly reacting to what is thrown at you.
Over time you WILL learn to respond. You WILL learn to distinguish what’s actually happening for you within you and you WILL be able to start making lasting changes from that place within you. Your authentic you.
I’d invite you to ponder for yourself, what could life be like if I’d have more of myself in everything that I do? If I would have a deep sense of KNOWING that I can TRUST in MYSELF. No matter what’s taking place, I can anchor into the sense of aliveness, groundedness and wisdom I have within myself.
When you are engaged in simple somatic movements that are done with deep awareness, listening for ease to find alternative ways of moving, of being with yourself, you will come out having an entirely new sense of yourself.
If you are someone that has already experienced the power that comes from attending to yourself in movement, I would love to hear what your experience has been with engaging in Awareness Through Movement® lessons.
And if you are new to the Feldenkrais Method™ and are feeling curious about trying it for yourself, I would be honored for the opportunity to guide you through an online one-on-one Awareness Through Movement® lesson. You can book it here.